i wanna upload pictures but i cnt seemed to find a way to do that. why? because i have wok at 8am tomorrow. and i freaking shag. i mean it shag. tried physically,mentally and emotionally can? why? because work has been such a tiring job this days. i swear its freaking tired in this department. my back is aching and my legs are hurting. even my hands are turning weird. like wtf. i hate it. yes my one and only sweetheart khai khai khai is already back in camp which means im back to being the only gerl. i hate it. i cnt get use to it. the timing that i have sucks big time. he seems to be okay but i cnt? u understand. i wanna spend time after a while not meeting. your my one and only soulmate that i have, i dun wan other people. and im so freaking stress about that. now,few months from now. you know what i mean khai. you know. you know how much i am so stress about all this. i dun blame you. i hate my work. plus i dun like it that much either now. this department. i can only think i have my dream job when i ferst start this work. yes that particular department that i like. not all this. but i cnt do anything. to get that dam cert, i have to go thru thish shit. yes shit. so hard to even communicate with them. and im pretty much have particularly no life. and im pretty much sure the rest of my mates are feeling that wae too. i realise that this is not realli what i wan. should have taken the othe diploma. yes, i regretted. but i didnt regretting meanting my mates that i have found. they are indeed great. i miss sch. just study. not now. hasih. im sorry khai i cnt stop tearing when youre going in. i know ever since 7th july ive been making you worried. but sumhow i didnt want to but im still adapting to these major change. i hate changes. and you know that. only you make me a stronger person nowades. i have no one to depend on. i have no one to talk to from monday to friday before you book out. i have no one to go out with and make me happy like i use to. i m practically shit. alone. and i dunno whats gonna happen to me. i just hate to be alone i guess.. i cnt...i hate this feeling. only god knows how much i wish i could be with you but i cnt. and yes im officially shag. totally. like ive mention physically,mentally and emotionally. what cn i do to stop tearing everyday thinking so hard boutt this and that. im thinking all the time. can i even be the old me. not the dun care attitude type of nisha. the emo one. the one whos so weak right now...fcuk...i dun know what to say.
love,im so sorie cos i cried during the days i meet you. over at henderson wave and cck just now. you know what i felt. told you the other day at henderson wave. and thanks b. yesterdae was indeed a day so special where i get to talk the matter of heart. to just cry out so badly in front of you. hug and make me feel kinda better. haish. ya allah, gif me the strength i need to go thru this. please. fcuk. no mood people. just letting out my feeling. take care.
