sumtimes i wonder why time flies so fast.
its already the 8th of sep.
meaning its the 8th dae we muslims have been fasting.
the feeling of hungry is nothing compared to the rest of the people out der who has no foo to eat even wen the time has come, for all the muslims to break fast.
even so, you mite know expect dat other people in dis world might not have food to eat.
see?
how lucky we are in singapore.
we are never lack of food.
we always have something to eat.
oh well.
3 weeks time,its hari raya.its been yet 4 years now.
4 years since im left all alone by you.
to see all my cousins having their parents by their side.
seeking for forgiveness.
visiting their uncle and aunty.
i noe i still do visit the rest of my aunty and uncle, but it is not the same w/o you by my side.
and i noe its been a while(few months)
since i last visit your cemetry.
im sorie.
i want to go.
but all you siblings mum is busy with their life.
im scared.
im too scared to as dem to accompany me.
ive been a burden to their life ever since you left mum.
be it in financial terms or others,i am a burden to dem.
if only you know what im going thru now.
if only...
i got plans on what to buy for upcoming hari raya.
but there seemes to be so little time n so many things to buy!
well,nevertheless,it can be done.
=)
i got in mind what i want to buy.
1 baju kebaye.
or two perhaps?
1 baju kurung.
a simple one will do.
shoes.
many2 shoes.
boyfie and akak noes.=)
broche.
acessories.
all in mind.
wating for the time to get my money end of the month to buy aite.
boyfie,tmn me to get all my things okay.
will buy yours too.
u noe what i want u to wear.
samer2 okay.
this year theme:me & you,WHITE.
white& black or white and gold.
we see how it goes okay boy?
i know where to get your baju yg.
cik farah saw a baju dat i want you to wear n i got it.
mine too!
so be prepared fer the end of the month.
sorie yah gt to waet till end of the month.
but nvm.
we follow the flow aite.
boyfie,im sorie i acted weird just now till i assume u got a little angry with me in the bus.
but ily.
u dun noe what's on my mind.
the fear of losing you is all in my mind that cnt stop.
its bothering me.
you will start your attchment in like 2 daes time.
i hope you keep your promises.
i dun noe why i tear wen i was lying on your shoulder.
but the tears are for you.
im so so afraid.
i hope you know dat.
i hoe you will still have time for me no matter what yeah.
ill be more understanding if you want too.
i try.
cos im willing to do anything for you.
p/s:meant for only muhammad khairul anwar bin kamaruddin.
no school till thurs.
will be gg bck to sch only on friday.
got full lessons.
then next week exams!!
den F1.
wooohoo.
Labels: i hate the fear of being alone i never wanna be alone again after you left me
